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Fear Is Not My Friend

When has fear ever done anything but collapse us? It certainly has no ability to uplift, to encourage, to enlighten our lives. Instead, consistently existing in a state of fear pulls those fears more completely into us, making our world very small indeed.

Think back to the last time you worried about something: an upcoming test, a medical concern, the status of a relationship that was important to you. Did worry change the outcome? Make you feel better about yourself? No, in all likelihood, it made you feel very small, even more fearful, collapsed. Could you see anything for the ‘elephant in the room’ of worry, sucking up every bit of air, of love, of clarity in the room?

So, how to deal with fear/worry? There are countless books and videos available detailing how to deal with fear but sometimes, in the thick of it, you need some quick ‘go to’ techniques. Some that I have found that work for me?

My go-to is to journal. I resisted journaling for years for any number of reasons: someone might come across my journal and read it, who would care about what I had to write anyway, it wouldn’t be ‘perfect’. Ha!

Well, once I picked up a journal and began, I realized that all those blocks were wrong. Verbally vomiting my worries and concerns onto an impartial sheet of paper (it has yet to judge me), not only calmed me but it gave me a safe place to empty out all the feelings associated with the fear of the moment. And I found that dropping one concern onto paper led to the connection to the next and to the next…. until I had untied the Gordian knot of fear.

And that led to an incredible, beautiful, expectant space within, waiting for me to fill it. And filling that space is an important, pro-active part of journaling. Not just to get rid of the mess we have created but consciously choosing what to replace it with. Choosing to invite in the Light and Love of God/Spirit/Goddess/Buddha – what ever you call your connection to the higher source. The resulting peace is worth it’s weight in gold. And guess what? I get to do this over and over. There is no limit to the number of times I can pick up my journal and empty my mind.

Another technique I learned years ago and use often: I picture a white board in front of me where I write down all my worries, insecurities and fears. I erase what I have written one by one until I have a clean slate in front of me. As I am erasing, I repeat to myself “The Light and Love of God (or Goddess/Jesus/Buddha, etc.) and nothing else. The Light and Love of God and nothing else. The Light and Love of God and nothing else.” I encourage you to try this simple exercise and feel the difference as we consciously choose to only invite the sacred to populate the whiteboard of our lives.

Of course, nature is the great clearer. Stepping outside, putting my feet on the earth, throwing my head back and taking in a big breath clears any number of worries. As we all know, when we are fearful/worried we often take tiny breaths and we mainly chest breathe. Filling our bellies with life giving air is the equivalent to opening the windows after a long winter spell. Walking, movement of any sort, gets the energy moving and movement has the ability to unblock us. We get into the flow of our lives instead of standing in the muck of our minds.

There are any number of ways to deal with fear. The biggest thing is to make a choice and do something to reclaim the divinity that you are.

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